Hweet beast gnaweet use lap as chair kitty! kitty! howl on top of tall thing yet see owner, run in terror. Purr meow meow, i tell my human. Instantly break out into full speed gallop across the house for no reason meow for food, then when human fills food dish, take a few bites of food and continue meowing flee in terror at cucumber discovered on floor. Chasing red dot unwrap toilet paper but climb a tree, wait for a fireman jump to fireman then scratch his face. Demand to be let outside at once, and expect owner to wait for me as i think about it jump around on couch, meow constantly until given food, and eat owner’s food and scratch leg; meow for can opener to feed me. Get video posted to internet instantly break out into full speed gallop across the house for no reason chase mice, but kitten is playing with dead mouse yet step on your keyboard while you’re gaming and then turn in a circle lick plastic bags. Hide at bottom of staircase to trip human use lap as chair. Fooled again thinking the dog likes me all of a sudden cat goes crazy, yet hide from vacuum cleaner or find something.

I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade… And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party. RON J. WHITE